


Everything Takes Time - Non-binary Apprentice

by Gypsum1110



Category: The Arcana (Visual Novel)
Genre: Angst, Fluff, Julian is being his dramatic self, Other, Pregnancy, The apprentice is nb and pregnant
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-10
Updated: 2019-02-10
Packaged: 2019-10-25 10:03:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,567
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17723087
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gypsum1110/pseuds/Gypsum1110
Summary: Julian and the Apprentice are trying to have a child. The Apprentice is a non-binary person who is going to have the baby. This is all angst and fluff. I have a version of the story for a transmasculine apprentice as well.





	Everything Takes Time - Non-binary Apprentice

We’d been trying for almost a year now. I knew very well that conceiving a child took time, but it was almost worrying that it had taken this long. Julian had been trying to put on a brave front, but it was crumbling very slowly. Of course, he blamed himself, more specifically he blamed his frequent bar fights and how often he would sample unknown plants and other substances in his travels. If his antics weren’t to blame, he would find something else he did wrong that can be blamed. I’d told him a hundred times that some people just can’t have children, and if it were either one of us then we would be okay on our own or continuing to visit and help with the fostered youth living in the palace. Both of us wanted our own child, but I knew we could live without one. Julian on the other hand, couldn’t stop himself from taking the blame and in turn, couldn’t stop himself from wanting a baby.  
It was a month after his birthday and we were sitting in the house alone when there was a knock on the door. “I’ll get it dear,” I say, setting down my book and kissing his forehead. He was studying a medical textbook from a place I couldn’t pronounce in a language that took years to understand, so I didn’t want to disrupt his concertation.  
I opened the door and there were our closest friends. “What are you three doing here!” I was, of course, excited to see them, even after Julian and I had had another rough night.  
Portia spoke first, carrying a thick stack of books. “We come bearing gifts!” She said with an excited grin, pushing her way through everyone and setting the books down on our table. It appears she’d been struggling with the books.  
“We know you two are still having trouble conceiving so we put our heads together and found some books and herbs and other things that could help,” Asra walked in holding a basket full of a wide variety of plants, most with fresh, inviting smells. Others looked wispy and dry.  
“My parents conceived seven children, so I wrote to them and asked for conception advice. It seems I got their hopes up, they thought Portia and I were trying,” she said with a little chuckle, winking in her wife’s direction. Portia blushed in response and stood beside Nadia, wrapping her arm around the taller woman’s waist.  
Julian hadn’t moved, merely set his book aside and stared at the table full of goodies. “Oh, thank you all so much. This is quite the spread,” I say with a laugh, looking at the books, notes, and plants in front of me.  
Julian stood up slowly and I felt his anger seconds before it came out in the form of a spat. He was more upset than ever and had spent the night in my arms, trying not to completely break down. “Thank you all for wasting your time completely, but we will be fine. You can all leave my house now, if you feel like it of course.” He shocked us all, the four of us stood staring at him with wide eyes.  
“Ilya what’s wrong?” Portia asked softly, stepping forward and touching Julian’s arm.  
He yanked away, avoiding eye contact and scowling at the floor. “Nothing is wrong Pasha, I just can’t have a child with my partner because I’ve been punched god knows how many times in the only place that matters when you’re making children. I won’t even mention all the herbs I’ve given them to avoid what we’re trying to make happen right now and god knows what those could have done. I’ve ruined our chances of having a child and you come here with your plants and books thinking it’ll reverse my mistakes.”  
Asra spoke up, all the while I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. “Julian it’s okay if you can’t have a child. Just because you’re a married adult doesn’t mean you need to have a child. None of this is required and it’s not your fault if it doesn’t work out,” they were right of course, we didn’t have to have or be able to have a baby.  
“It doesn’t matter what we have to or don’t have to do! We wanted this. I wanted this, and they wanted this! And it’s my fault we can’t have this,” tears were forming in his eyes, growing larger and larger until they dripped down his cheeks.  
I heard Nadia start to say something, but everything went silent. Suddenly it didn’t matter what was happening or what I was hearing, I needed to get to where I could empty my lunch without making a mess in the house. I turned around, rushing out the side door and into the alley as I felt bile rise in my throat. I retched into the gutter while the yelling got louder and louder behind me, it seemed everyone was so preoccupied with arguing that they hadn’t noticed me, but I wasn’t too interested in being seen like this anyways. Thankfully my hair and clothing avoided the spray, but I would have to find a bucket of water to flush the rest of this down the gutter. I stood up slowly, my knees damp and shaking from resting on the hard concrete for as long as they did.  
The yelling didn’t quiet down as I stepped into the house clutching my stomach. I grabbed a damp washcloth from beside our sink and wiped my mouth. “Julian, I thought we were past this! Not everything is your fault! You are not responsible for the problems of the world and this is most definitely a problem that is out of and beyond your control!” Nadia slammed her fist on the counter, her eyes flared with anger.  
“What else could it be then? Why else would we be without a child or even the chance of a child more than a year after we’ve started trying to conceive?” His lower lip and his hands were shaking, and it seemed like he still couldn’t maintain eye contact with anyone.  
“Julian these things take time,” I said weakly, leaning heavily on the counter without moving my arm from around my stomach.  
He looked me in the eyes, the first time he’d directly looked at anyone it seemed. “How much time! You’re sacrificing so much to do this for us and I can’t do my part! The one single thing that is required of me in childbearing and I can’t do it, so please tell me how much more time we have to wait,” it seems he’s been crying freely for the past little while and his puffy eyes will be evidence to that for the rest of the afternoon.  
“I think we’re done waiting Julian,” my voice is barely above a whisper but finally they all start to notice. They see the open door, my arm around my stomach, they smell the bile and they see the washcloth in my hand. The look of four people realizing the same thing at once is undoubtedly the most hilarious thing I had ever seen.  
Julian starts crying again, this time out of joy. “Oh my god really?” He runs up to me and wraps his arms around me, holding me against his chest and kissing my forehead and cheeks. “I can’t believe it,” Julian smiles at me, unable to contain his joy. “I’m so sorry for yelling,” he turns to our friends behind him, “I’m so sorry to all of you. None of you deserve this, especially when you’re trying to help.” He wipes his eyes and straightens up.  
“Well next time lets talk instead of yell okay?” Asra pulls Julian in for a hug and it quickly turns into the five of us holding him tight.  
Once we’re done brightening up the mood in the room Portia gasps. “You’re really pregnant now? Oh my gosh, I can’t believe it! We have so much to prepare. Are you going to give birth here? Do you still have that crib Mazelinka gave you? Oh, we need to tell Mazelinka! And Muriel! And you,” she points her finger firmly at Julian, “you need to train someone to run the clinic when your partner here gives birth. While they’re out of commission Muriel and I can help Asra at the shop if they need it, but you have to start actually looking for an assistant.”  
“You say it as if I don’t have nine months to search,” Julian laughs, his arms staying wrapped around me.  
“All this time and you haven’t found a single replacement?” Nadia says with a smirk, shaking her head slowly. “The palace doctor has been working with two young trainees for the past few months, if you need we would be happy to sacrifice one.”  
“We can go out searching tomorrow. I think Lillian was talking about her oldest being interested in medicine when I went to pick up those clothes she mended for us. And maybe that young woman from the market with all those remedies of hers. I still can’t believe those aren’t magic! Oh, and we can…” I’m talking myself into a flurry when Julian plants a kiss on my lips.  
“Darling you must calm down,” he says with a laugh, gently stroking my cheek. “You were just saying things take time so now we can take some more time.”  
“Bold words coming from you Julian,” Asra says with a smirk, eliciting a burst of laughter from everyone in the room.  
Julian blushes but laughs along with us. He clears his throat, wiping his eyes again and staring down at the floor. “I really am sorry to all of you. Thank you for sticking with us. I know I’ve been an irritating brat these past few months.”  
“We care for you dearly Julian and we surely wouldn’t be scared away by a brief stint of dramatic mood swings and self-pity,” Nadia rubs his arm gently as she speaks, showing a very rare moment of physical affection. “Though irritating brat is certainly an accurate description,” she says in a quieter voice, Portia shooting her a ‘behave’ look.  
I feel my stomach churning again and I push my way out to the street again. It seemed like there was more than enough lost the first time but here I was again, throwing up food I didn’t even know I had eaten. I heard Asra say something about a potion for nausea and ran off. While they are a great magician they don’t have a strong stomach and two people getting sick would not be helpful. I felt Julian’s hand on my back as his other grabbed hold of my hair. Portia got down on her knees beside me, holding a jug of water and a cloth. My undershirt was hindering my ability to breath more than usual and as soon as I was done I started pulling it off from under my shirt.  
“Having a tough time breathing my love?” Julian asked, taking hold of my tight undershirt and tossing it into the house.  
“I guess throwing up takes more oxygen then my lungs can produce when my chest is bound,” I say with a laugh, gently taking the damp cloth and wiping my mouth. “I suppose wearing that will be a little more difficult for the next little while,” I look down at my chest, flinching when it shifts with my movements.  
“We’ll build up the walls in the clinic, so you can only be seen from the neck up,” Julian kisses my cheek as his hand gently rubs my back.  
I can hear water boiling in the kitchen as Portia offers me the jug. “Have a sip of water, clear out all that nastiness,” she says with a gentle voice. I do as she says, drinking just enough to clear the taste from my mouth and taking one more sip to swish around. Portia dumps the rest of the water on my mess to wash it down into the gutter and Julian pulls me into a standing position.  
He practically drags me back into the house and sets me on the couch, quickly pulling a blanket over my body. “There you are, my love. Nadi made some tea, I’ll grab you a cup.”  
“You don’t have to bundle me up like I have the flu, I’m just pregnant.” The words fill me with a mix of overwhelming joy and dysphoria, quickly shaking the dysphoric thoughts from my head while focusing on the joy. I try to get up but suddenly fall back, too nauseous to stand up.  
“Doctors orders darling. Sit down and relax while I grab your tea.” He kisses my forehead and walks back to the kitchen where Nadia is pouring honey into my favourite cup.  
Asra is back a few minutes after, their face still looking a tad pale. They’re holding a small cauldron with a ladle sticking out of it and the scent wafts over the room like a warm wind. I can already feel the nausea settling when I smell the savoury brew they’ve brought, and I quickly sit up. The tea had helped little and quite frankly I was excited to feel something in my belly, well something more then what was apparently already in there. Julian had been holding me while I sipped at the tea, gently stroking my hair and back. He stayed beside me, almost acting like a crutch for me to sit up straight.  
“Good god that smells good,” I mumble, staring intently at the bowl as I see Asra ladling the golden liquid into a bowl.  
“Once you start craving things you should be able to keep more food down. Until then I have lots of remedies and recipes that will make you feel a bit better.” They bring the bowl over, holding it out before I take it.  
“Bless you, you beautiful magician,” I barely get the words out before I tip the bowl towards my mouth and start drinking the soup. I can feel it spreading down my throat and into my stomach, warming me all the way out to my fingertips and my toes.  
“I can’t believe it’s finally happened,” Julian speaks softly beside me, pulling me close to him once I’ve finished my soup. “Thank you for doing this for us. I know you’re sacrificing a lot to do this, and I can’t imagine how your dysphoria will affect you in the coming months, but I will be here for every single second to help you in any way I can.”  
I feel tears in my eyes as I lean in to hug Julian. “God, you’re the best husband anyone could ask for.”  
He plants a gentle kiss on my lips and I return it happily, feeling warm and comforted and happy, surrounded by some of the closest people in my life. We send Malak to share the news with Muriel and Mazelinka, and the two of them arrive soon after one another bringing gifts and food. I can only stomach bread and Asra’s soup but being surrounded by my family filled me with more warmth and comfort then anything else could ever give me. We spend the night enjoying each others company and celebrating the future.


End file.
